Gottman stated, "Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding an long-lasting romance. Although happily married couples may feel driven to distraction at times by their partner's personality flaws, they still feel that the person they married is worthy of honor and respect. When this sense is completely missing from a marriage, the relationship cannot be revived."

After a fight it can be hard to quickly forget those feelings of contempt that can arise. Gottman suggested that if our marriage is in trouble we should focus on the past and remind ourselves of the wonderful love history and experiences we have shared together. These can include early courting experiences, (i.e.How Harry met Sally). By focusing on the past we can bring up those positive feelings once again. By simply reminding yourself of your spouse's positive qualities you can help prevent a marriage from deteriorating--even when you are struggling with each other's flaws. FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION ARE THE ANTIDOTES FOR CONTEMPT.